I signed up to run a marathon in New Orleans. This is a sampling of my daily mental preparation.
“There’s no way I can run a marathon.”
“I can do it, I can run a marathon.”
“26.2 miles – you have to be joking.”
“I think I can do it.”
“It’s going to be hard and maybe scary.”
“I can do it.”
“Are you crazy?”
“Just a little further every run and I’ll have it.”
“No way.”
“Way.”
Some days it ends with “No way,” others, “Way.”
Argh.
Remember Reading Week? A week for reading, usually just before final exams, intended to help students be more prepared for the tests that were just around. As a student, I loved having reading week to cram in all the reading that didn’t happen during the semester. But I’ve always thought schools got reading week wrong. Why not devote a week to reading for pleasure? A week to pick up books you’ve been meaning to get to; a week to think, and read, and be.
A few years ago, I started giving myself a Reading Week – oh sometimes it’s a Reading Weekend, and sometimes it’s a set number of mornings with nothing on my to-do list but “read.” This year, I have given myself 7 days. I cancelled client sessions and made arrangements to get away and read. My master plan includes early morning runs too but so far, those haven’t materialized. Maybe tomorrow.
I have been reading a lot of novels recently, so I devoted this week to reading works on shame and sexual shame. Shame is a normal part of being human but sometimes shame overcomes a person and sets in motion a wide variety of very damaging defense mechanism. One author calls in “soul murder” – the self is so shamed, it gets so small that it seems to cease to be. The shamed self is replaced with a mask, or false self and mask is all that the world sees. Or rather, that hask is all the shamed person hopes the world will see. It’s such a powerful subject…
Here’s my reading list for this week, in case you’re interested:
I’m delighted to be included in a group of bloggers called RevGalBlogPals If you are interested in ministry, blogs by women clergy and church professionals, and some interesting, enlightening, and often humorous blogging, I hope you’ll check them out. They are also on Facebook and have some cook swag at Cafe Press
Posted in Church, Life, Musings, Relationships, Religion, Spirituality
Tagged blogs, facebook, revgalblogpals, women clergy
I’ve been watching the garden die a slow death. The plants are in a state of constant stress from the heat and unrelenting drought. I was just outside looking at my purple beans, a climbing or pole bean with beautiful reddish-purple blossoms. It’s been covered with blossoms all summer and the bees love it. Bean pollen dies if it gets too hot, and it has been too hot. There aren’t any beans this summer.
Purple bean blossoms, but no beans
Last summer, my tomato plants produced about 100 lbs of tomatoes each week. That’s a lot of tomatoes and I’d hoped to sell some of my produce this summer. Tomato pollen dies at about 96 degrees, we’ve been over 100 for weeks and weeks. This summer I gather a small handful of tomatoes weekly; weakly. It’s been such a hard year to garden.
As I walk around the property, I mostly walk on dead grasses and powdery dirt. It looks like a winter landscape, except it’s August. I find I am wishing for winter.
There are times in life when things get difficult and we are called to put every ounce of energy we have into making things better. If this were one of those times, I’d be pouring compost on the plants and watering several times a day. If this were an important relationship that was struggling, I’d be focusing my efforts on communicating, and getting therapy, and spending time reflecting on what I could improve.
There are also times in life when what is healthy is to say, “Enough.” That could be, “I’ve done enough,” or, “I’ve had enough,” or, “Enough already!” With the drought, I’m now concentrating my watering efforts on keeping the foundation of the house watered, and probably not doing that enough. I catch myself thinking, as I water the struggling tomato plants, “What if it doesn’t rain? I’m going to wish I had this water to drink instead of having spent it on struggling tomato plants.” Sometimes relationships chip away at the soul, making us less of ourselves rather than nudging us to be more fully ourselves.
Sometimes, you’ve given all you have to give and it is time to stop.
It’s hard to let go of the garden. I started most of these plants from seeds in January. I watered them by hand, and carried the flats of seedlings out into the springtime sunlight and tucked them back in their warm storeroom every night. It’s challenging to let go of things that hold a lot of emotional energy for us whether it’s a tomato plant, an argument with a spouse, a failure at work. It can be really tough to stop trying to make something happen, or to let go of our fantasy of how things should be, or could be if only they’d change.
Here’s a little wisdom from the Buddhist tradition:
Two Buddhist monks were walking along a path when they came to a shallow, muddy river. A woman in a beautiful dress waited there, not wishing to cross for fear of ruining her beautiful dress. One of the monks lifted her onto his shoulders – something that he was absolutely not supposed to do – and carried her to the other side, where he set her down (dress intact) and proceeded along the path with his fellow monk. After a few hours, the second monk, unable to continue keeping quiet about what he understood as a violation of the code by which they lived, asked his companion, “Why did you pick that woman up and carry her across the river?” The first monk replied, “Are you still carrying her? I put her down hours ago.”
What are you holding onto? What things are you trying to change or control? Is it time to let go?
Dead strawberry patch with dead and dying tomatoes in the background
Posted in Counseling, Gardening, Life, Relationships, Spirituality
Tagged buddhist, control, Cynthia McKenna, fantasy, garden, letting go, pole beans, tomato plants
I wonder why we hold “nice” is such high regard. ”Nice” is defined in my handy online dictionary as, “pleasing, agreeable, delightful.” Pleasing, agreeable, delightful all sound appealing. Who doesn’t want to be nice, right?
The problem is that some people trade on pleasing and agreeable. Somewhere along the path, they have decided that “nice” is the way to get through this world. It’s almost as if the broad range of human emotion and human interaction is reduced to “nice and agreeable.” When presented with a challenging situation or difficult person, nice is the only resources they have on hand.
When the difficult or challenging event occurs, most humans feel many emotions and may react in different ways. Anger, frustration, sadness, fear, etc., are normal responses, and each might be appropriate and healthy for in our imaginary difficult situation. The person who only deals in niceties may feel all these feelings too. But the feelings are often perceived as “bad” or “wrong” or “uncontrollable” so they are pushed down deep inside and what is given to the world is “nice”.
This pushing down of real feelings and responses is often learned in early childhood. In an effort to get children to conform to some imaginary set of social rules, we tell them to be “nice.” Imagine two chidden fighting over a toy, the adult tells them, “Be nice,” which really means, “Stop asking for what you want and be quiet or else you’re gonna get it.”
Sometimes the mandate to be nice is overt and more often the message is sent in a thousand subtle but unmistakable ways. Whatever the method, the child learns the lesson well.
Emotions help us understand ourselves and the world around us. Our emotional, feeling self akin to one of those indoor-outdoor thermometers. Emotions give us the temperature inside ourselves, and how that temperature relates to the outside world at that moment.
Pushing down our emotions doesn’t make them go away, but we can bury them so deeply that they become more difficult to identify and use in daily living. It’s almost crippling to react to this complex world of people and events with “nice” as your only acceptable response.
There is hope. Most people can reconnect to the world of their emotions and develop understanding, flexibility, and confidence using the emotional gauges we’re born with. It takes effort, and it’s often frightening to consider letting those feelings out, and dealing with the consequences. The reward comes from greater self-knowledge, increased understanding, and more fulfilling relationships with others.
Posted in Counseling, emotions, health, Life, Relationships
Tagged agreeable, anger, emotion, frustration, nice, thermostat
A lot of things aren’t going “right” right now. It feels like I’m pushing against a brick wall. Nothing serious, just a series of tasks which ought to be simple, for various reasons, are anything but simple.
I’m frustrated.
This isn’t an “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” kind of day. It’s just one of “those” days.
How do you get through days like this? We all have them. I’m open to suggestions and I’ll report back later on how the day finally turned out.
Posted in emotions, health, Life, Musings
Tagged alexander and the horrible, frustrated, one of those days
A friend’s 31-year-old husband was killed in a car accident – hit by a driver going the wrong way on the highway.
A former student got a respiratory infection and died shortly after – She was 25.
Another friend went in for a routine surgical procedure. The surgeon discovered she had cancer, and it had metastasized.
We wake up in the morning, and assume that the day is going to go on as expected. We’ll do our various chores, go to work, see the people we love, tend to details – a day in the life. But things can change in the blink of an eye. We don’t always have forewarning, we don’t really know what will happen next.
We live “as if,” as if our lives will continue to go on as expected. I suspect we’d never get out of bed if we spent all our time thinking about what might happen or things that could go wrong.
But that comforting thought of “everything is fine, and therefore, everything will stay fine” can lull us into complacency. We take things for granted. We let the busy-ness of our lives overshadow the love that binds us to each other. We feel love and compassion, but we decide to tend to that later – first the laundry, and errands, and…
We’ve all heard stories of people, on their death beds, resolving long-standing grievances. That’s an awesome healing moment. But the thing is, we don’t always get to say goodbye. We don’t get that “perfect time” to apologize, or make amends or express our love and affection.
Life happens and so does death. Just as we should all tend to our “end things” like having a will, doing advance medical directives and durable power of attorney, shouldn’t we also tend to the emotional health and well-being of the people we care about? We don’t have to have “loose ends.” We can build our connections and tend to the business of loving one another today.
Take the time to look in the eyes of the ones you love. Say, “I love you.” Say, “I love you,” even when you are mad at each other. It really does matter.
Stop multi-tasking and listen to your spouse, to your children, your friends. It’s the connections in life that bring us the greatest joys.
Don’t miss them.
Posted in Life, Relationships
Tagged children, complacency, death, family, i love you, life and death, love, relationships
Friends of this blog know that I committed to running a half marathon in honor of my 50th birthday. Although I originally planned to run the 1/2 in November 2011, I decided that was far too long to wait so I signed up for, and ran, the Zooma Women’s 1/2 Marathon in April – 4 days before my 50th birthday.
I haven’t blogged much since I started preparing for the race, due in part to the time it took to get ready. I’m always a little hesitant to use the word “race” because I’m a slow runner. So the mornings when I would normally blog or tweet, I was outside somewhere, running and walking and generally enjoying myself. I remember Roger Soler telling me that he doesn’t run marathons any more because of the time it takes to train. I understand what that means now. If you go out and run 8 miles, it takes the time to do the run, and then the rest of the day to lay around and be exhausted. Okay, probably not for Roger Soler, but that’s my general training plan.
This is me just before I ran 8 miles, with a little help from Kendall Jackson
I was afraid that this blog would turn into a blog about running and I didn’t really want that to be the focus. Now it’s June and I think skipping the “blogging about running” was a mistake. I learned so much from the training and running, lessons that can be applied to other aspects of life. I missed out by not sharing them. So here’s the plan: I’m going to blog about running, and hope you’ll come along for the ride. There will be regular “Garden Gate” type posts too, but writing about running will free up some of my brain space and besides, I think it’ll be fun.
The single biggest lesson I’ve learned (so far) is that I’m strong. I mean that in a physical sense. I can run 14 miles and not die. I can run when the weather is cold or hot or really windy – it might not be pleasant, but I’m strong enough to push through it and “get ‘er done.”
I’m also strong emotionally. I had knowledge of my emotional strength before taking on the 1/2 marathon, but I have a “don’t give up” spirit that I haven’t been tapping into enough. My training for the 1/2 marathon generally meant that I’d get dropped off miles from my house, and I’d have to get home. I could run, I could walk, I could crawl if necessary, but the only way home was “through.” I had to run through my fear of failure, through my aches (and internal whines about being much too old for this sort of thing), through legs feeling like lead, through disappointment that I wasn’t running an 8 minute mile (man I’d love to do that.)
Katy Perry’s Firework is on my running playlist and includes this lyric:
“It’s always been inside of you, now it’s time to let it through.”
That sums it up for me. We have inner strength that we don’t necessarily use and it’s time to let it out.
You gotta ignite the light and let it shine!
Baby, You’re a Firework!
Posted in Counseling, emotions, health, Life, running
Tagged Cynthia McKenna, fear, firework, katy perry, marathon, roger soler, running, strength, turning 50
Did you watch Oprah’s compelling interview with three sisters who survived eight years of rape and incest.
The sisters were articulate and handled the questioning with a tremendous amount of grace. They were clear about the depth of pain and damage they’d endured. They were genuine, they are survivors. I’ve worked with hundreds of men and women who have survived rape and incest, and I admire their willingness to be so vulnerable. I admire their inner strength, it takes a mountain of courage to tell the truth about being abused.
But telling their compelling and heartbreaking story wasn’t enough for the Oprah show. We, and the young women, had to hear disturbing details about what their perpetrators said during the investigation – and immediately, the camera cuts to the young women crying. I’m starting to get angry, and hoping this will be redeemed before the show ends. Next, their mother makes a statement; not taking blame, not really apologizing and the young women don’t seem surprised. They already knew their mother betrayed them by not protecting them.
I guess I should have seen it coming. The perpetrators get to talk. They talk by phone, from prison, about how sorry they are – or aren’t. Why do rapists get time on national television? Is it because it’s “Season 25″ for Oprah, and if you’ve been watching that show, you know “over the top” is the name of the game.
I’m angry that Oprah gave them airtime. I didn’t want to hear what the abusers had to say. Moreover, the sisters didn’t want to hear what they had to say. It’s one of those moments, when powerful television, trades in its power for exploitation. But wait, there’s more.
Oprah asked, ”How does it feel to hear (her abuser) say he’s sorry and wants your forgiveness, you feel what?”
The young woman replies, “Confused.”
So Oprah gives her “favorite” definition of forgiveness,
“‘Forgiveness’ is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.” Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different. So you don’t hold on to wishing that you’d had a different kind of brother, a different kind of mother, a different kind of family. You let that go and you move forward with the grace that God has given you. From this day on, forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could’ve been any different.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
I think I understand what Oprah was trying to do. I think she was trying to help them move forward. The thing is, forgiveness means so many things, and these young women don’t need Oprah to tell them to move forward, or what to believe or how to feel. Isn’t Oprah always talking about finding and speaking “your own truth.” If they choose to forgive, they’ll do it in their own time and in their own way. They might not want to forgive at all – it’s really their journey.
If Oprah had wanted to help them “move forward” then she and her staff could have spared them from seeing their perpetrators photos, or hearing their voices. Oprah could have asked how a person puts their life back together after so much abuse and pain. What happens when you tell the truth and lose your family? What challenges them now, day-to-day? What gives them hope, if anything?
You let us down Oprah. You said that you’ve done dozens of shows on rape and incest over the years. How then, did you miss the concept that every survivor has a right to feel whatever he or she feels. Telling these brave women to “move forward” doesn’t really help and doesn’t really move them forward. It’s akin to telling them to “get over it.” These courageous women will move on in their own way and in their own time.
The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network http://www.rainn.org is the nations largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN offers information and help 24/7 for those who are victims of sexual assault or incest. You can call 1-800-656-4673. Your call is confidential. You can get help today.
Ellie relaxes in the window.
I heard someone say, “do one thing every day that scares you.” Not the kind of “stick your head in the lions mouth” kind of scary, but perhaps more along the lines of welcoming new challenges and not letting those pesky inner voices talk us out of them.
Sometimes, we have an internal dialogue that says, “I can’t do that.” ”I’ll fail.” or “I’m too ________ to do that.”
Maybe we know how we got that negative internal dialogue, maybe not. Either way, we can choose to listen to the negatives and reinforce the belief of failure; or we can challenge it, argue with it, tell it to shut up, or ignore it completely.
Personally, I think we’ve been letting that negative, critical voice have waaaay too much control.
So here’s my dilemma. In case you’ve just come to this blog, I’m getting ready to turn 50 in April and decided to run a 1/2 marathon to celebrate. Initially, the 1/2 marathon was/is set for mid-November, but that’s months after my auspicious birthday, so I found one that is the weekend before I turn 50 – and I signed up.
I used to run when I was in my late teens and twenties. I ran with ease and I ran often. I’m not at all sure why I stopped but now at 49 3/4 I’ve decided to take up running again.
I notice that my thoughts are playing a HUGE part in the preparation for the April 1/2 marathon. I have a running plan (you have to have a plan) and last weekend I ran (or really walked & ran) 4 miles. It was fun, it went quickly, I was super proud.
And, I was sore this week after the run. Stiff from not stretching enough or the right way, an old soccer-knee injury griped all week about being much too old to run a marathon. I have some arthritis in my foot that’s complaining too. Blah, blah, blah.
The weekend, the plan says, “run 5 miles.” I think how pleasant the 4 miles were and I think, “great.” Then in the next nano-second, I think, “Sh*t I can’t run 5 miles – that’s a long way!” I find that I’m holding my breath while I think about the 5 miles and the plan – THE PLAN. I feel anxious that I can’t do it.
It’s driving me nuts.
So as I work with my dear clients on facing their fears and pushing themselves to do something new and different, I’m also doing a lot of internal work on facing mine.
The PLAN calls for running a bit and then walking a bit and repeat till finished. I got an Ironman watch to help with time-keeping.
Ironman watch in "Power Pink"
Two different marathon running friends suggested the Jeff Galloway method for running. He calls it the run-walk-run method, I call it the PLAN. I love that the cover includes the words, “You can do it”
You can do it!
Sunday’s the day – as soon as it’s in the 40′s, I’ll run (and walk) five miles. It’ll be fun, or scary, or some combination thereof. I think a big part of this running endeavor is about confronting those voices and getting on with what’s in front of you.
A friend said to me, “You can do it. Just go left foot, right foot, etc., and you’ll be finished in no time.”
So here’s to facing my fears and you facing your fears, quieting less-than-helpful inner voices, and doing something new in this new year. You can do it. That’s my goal this year, embrace “You can do it” in all it’s glory, messiness and opportunity.
Cynthia
Posted in Counseling, emotions, health, Life, marathon
Tagged Cynthia McKenna, inn dialogue, ironman watch, jeff galloway, plan, run rock roll, run walk run, turning 50, you can do it
The questions: Why do you run? Why do you run marathons?
Meet Pete Greaves, age 52, marathon runner
I ran my first marathon (Austin 1995) because I had always wanted to run just one. I typically spend January burning off the excesses of the holiday season and running had always been the best way to do that. So, in January of 1995 I started running 3-4 days per week and built up to 8-10 mile runs. I didn’t have any major aches and pains so I started to toy with the idea of running a marathon. I continued to run and decided to attempt the 1/2 marathon in February (I think) and see how it felt. I had a very good experience in the 1/2 and decided to take a shot at a full marathon. I had been told to take my time in the half and multiply it by two and add 10 minutes to get an estimate of what my time might be in a full marathon (I don’t recall my time in the 1/2).
By any expert’s standards I was very under-prepared or trained to run a full when the race day rolled around (3/5/1995). My longest training run had been 16 miles. I had planned a 20 but the weather turned cold and rainy that day and I cut it off at 16. Nevertheless, I decided to give it a try. The race day conditions were clear but warm (a runner’s nightmare). I felt great through about the first 16 miles then started to hurt. At mile 18 I was in considerable pain and the temperatures had really gotten warm. By mile 20 I felt like my feet had been cut off and I was running on stumps. I plodded on for the final 6.2 miles doing a combination of running and walking. With 2 miles to go, If I could have averaged a 12 minute mile I would have broken 4 hours. But I didn’t. I crossed the finish line in 4 hours, 3 minutes and 40 seconds. It was a great feeling to cross the finish line but I was in major pain and told myself “I will never do this again as long as I live.”
Famous last words!
I ran six more beginning in 2002 and ending in 2006. I did NYC twice and Boston once.
This is the last installment from my marathoner friends. Special thanks to Pete, Hilary, Ray, and Roger for their generosity.
In case you missed them, here are the links to the previous entries:
Posted in health, Life, marathon
Tagged austin, boston, hilary moffett, marathon, nyc, pete greaves, run marathon, run rock roll
The questions: Why do you run? Why do you run marathons?
Meet Hilary Moffett, age 25, marathon runner
I began running when I was 13 or 14. My parents are both runners and instilled in my siblings and myself the important of physical activity at a very young age. So, I began running! I used to do it on the weekends or sometimes even in the morning before school because I had sports in the afternoon. I decided I was going to run marathons when I was in the hospital after my brain surgery. I remember sitting in bed and not able to move much less run and I thought to myself “When I’m better, I’m going to run a marathon”. I made good on that promise when I was 19 and ran the Omaha marathon. I just finished my 5th official marathon and have passed 8 years of being cancer free!
I love to run because it is a special sort of meditation for me. I like to be alone on the road and to just breathe. I love the feeling of the body working in unison in the most natural human motion. I sometimes listen to music, sometimes I don’t—just depends on my mood! But the most important thing to me is the time it gives me to work through emotions and problems. I have found it is my prescription for anything: anxiety, sadness, fear, anticipation. They all tend to melt away after a nice run. And then, when I’m finished, I love the feeling of exhausted muscles that have done me well.
So marathons, specifically, are a mix of emotion for me. I like to look at it as just another long Sunday run. Someone once gave me that piece of advice and it stuck with me! There are moments when I think I’ve gone crazy, to be doing what I’m doing. There are moments of overwhelming emotion and reflection, times when I actually problem solve in my head, and much of the time passes in a present daze of a clear head and soft feet. It is an extremely spiritual practice for me and, like most that rely upon a practice to keep them sane and aligned, I always feel better after a good run.
Hilary recently qualified to run in the Boston Marathon in 2012. Thanks for your contribution Hilary, you are inspiring!
Here are the past stories, in case you missed them:
Posted in health, Life, marathon
Tagged boston marathon, brain surgery, hilary moffett, roger soler, turning 50, why run, why run a marathon
In honor of turning 50 next year, I’ve decided to run a 1/2 marathon. You can read about that decision here. Now that’s decided, and I find myself thinking a lot about running, and wondering why other people run, and why run marathons.
So I decided to ask a few friends why they run and over the next few days, I’ll post their stories.
The questions: Why do you run? Why do you run marathons?
Today’s marathon man is Ray L. age 60:
I started running back in the mid 80′s, when I wasn’t a very active person and my marriage was starting to fall apart. It was a way to relieve some stress and to have some ” alone” time. My running consisted of running around the block a few times ! I gradually built up to my first 5k–the Jacksonville Beach Summer Run–Running on the beach became my favorite thing to do–the movement of your body and the ocean waves rolling onto the shore just seem to go together.
Over the years I gradually increased the distance; and in 1998 ran my first marathon–the Marine Corps Marathon in D.C. Running thru our nation’s capital and crossing the finish line of that first marathon was an experience I will never forget–I was in such a “zone” that I didn’t even see my family standing @ the finish line with a HUGE sign saying “congratulations Dad !” I was surrounded by 1000′s of people yet I felt like I was the most important, and only person around ! I felt so proud of myself–something I didn’t always feel about myself! I think I slept with my finishers medal on that night ! It made my family proud of me also which just added to the euphoria I was experiencing.
Training for a marathon has taught me self discipline–if you’re going to succeed you know you have to get up in the morning and do your training runs–I learned how to plan and use my time.
Marathon running has boosted my self-confidence and self-esteem, has made me a stronger person both physically and mentally–It’s amazing what your body can do when you put your mind to it. You cross that finish line and think “WOW” I did it, I’m a WINNER-no matter how long it took! But watch out–it becomes addictive!
Ray has a great spirit and I appreciate his contribution to the Why do you run? series.
In case you missed the first installment, check out Soler’s Sports own Olympian, Roger Soler.
Posted in emotions, health, Life, marathon
Tagged jacksonville beach summer run, marathon, marine corps marathon, self-esteem, strong, why run a marathon
In honor of turning 50 next year, I’ve decided to run a 1/2 marathon. You can read about that decision here. Now that’s decided, and I find myself thinking a lot about running, and wondering why other people run, and why run marathons.
So I decided to ask a few friends why they run and over the next few days, I’ll post their stories.
The questions: Why do you run? Why do you run marathons?
First up is Roger Soler, age 50, marathon runner:
I started running because I liked the competition, and I found out I was good at it. The more I trained and run the better I felt.
Eventually, after 10 years of competitive running, I decided to do a marathon… For distance runners it is the “ultimate” goal. I have run over 30 marathons with a personal best of 2:17 at Boston in 1988.
Now, I only run for fitness, and marathons are not in my plans. But I run a Half marathon a couple of time a year. They do not take as much training. ~ Roger Soler
A note to readers, a marathon is 26 miles and some change. Roger’s fastest marathon was completed in 2:17 – 2 hours & 17 minutes. That means he ran about 13 miles an hour. Holy cow that’s fast.
Roger Soler ran for Peru in the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles. You can read more about him here. He has a deep connection to San Antonio and to the running community. I’m grateful to Roger Soler for sharing his story.
Am I running away from turning 50? Or, am I running toward 50 with my arms open wide? It’s a little to early to tell, but today, I registered for the San Antonio Rock ‘n Roll 1/2 Marathon . I only signed up for the 1/2 because I figure if I really like running ridiculously long distances, I can always switch to the full marathon, but I don’t have to commit to that just yet.
I’ll turn 50 on April 20th, 2011. I am not worried about turning 50, it actually feels kind of cool. I don’t want a big party, I might want a little dinner party, or maybe a trip out-of-town, but mostly, I want to be strong and healthy as I pass that milestone.
I have been mulling over the “marathon thing” for a while now. A few years back, a therapist friend of mine was training for a 1/2 marathon for her 50th birthday. Frankly, I thought she was nuts. However, today she seems like a sensible woman and I’ll take some inspiration from her accomplishments!
Did you know that when you register for a 1/2 marathon, they want to know exactly how long it will take you to run the course? That was incredibly funny to me. I don’t even know if I can finish, let alone know how long it will take.
I said, “I’ll finish in 3.00 hours” actually, that should say, I guessed “3.00 hours” I’ve only done 4 miles and that was exhausting and so far, a one-off event.
On what promises to be a chilly Sunday morning in November 2011, I’ll join 30,000 other maniacs in downtown San Antonio. I’ll keep you posted on the training, the psychological journey, and I’m sure a tiny bit of whining along the way.
For now, time for some Central Market Hatch Green Chile Chips. After all, it’s never too early to do some carb loading.
Cynthia
Posted in Counseling, health, Life, marathon
Tagged 1/2 marathon, carb loading, maniacs, marathon, Rock 'n roll, turning 50
I’ve always carried a blanket in my car. Not actually a blanket, it’s a very old quilt, that my now deceased Aunt Ida made for me when I was young. It has cats on one side and patchwork on the back. I call it “the cat quilt” and the cat quilt went with me in my first dorm room at UNM, and my first apartment. The cat quilt outlasted my marriage, moves to Texas, Oklahoma, and back to Texas.
The cat quilt has been in every car I’ve owned. It’s a bit like Arthur Dent and his ever-present towel; my cat quilt is for security. Just in case my car breaks down, I’ll be ready with a cat quilt security blanket. This makes sense if you live where it’s cold, because if your heater goes out, or you break down, it really nice to have a blanket in the car. Or if your car breaks down on a hot day, you can sit on the cat quilt while you wait for AAA.
Carrying a blanket makes sense if your car is untrustworthy and likely to break down. It’s smart to have a blanket in the car, and even smarter if it has calico print kitties on one side. Now I have a new car and a warranty. I don’t expect my car to break down and I wonder if I still need to carry the cat quilt.
Maybe it’s sentimental, but I think I still need the cat quilt in the car. It doesn’t seem right to put it in the closet. I’ve had it in my various cars since the 80′s. I’m pretty sure that I’ll drive a little more safely, knowing that very old quilt, made by loving hands, is tucked in my very small trunk.
Using my laptop to try to decode the new car’s SYNC system.
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